Getting a visa and getting homeless

Well, I’m still in England and will be, I guess, for about another month, which I’m fine with.
My two main things to work on now are my visa and finding a new place to live in Moscow, although the former is the more burning issue.

So I hit up the webz and go to the site I always use for visas (anyvisa), do a price crunch (all in all, with in invitation about £230) and then regret that I didn’t pick up an invitation in Moscow to reduce costs. There used to be a place I got business invitations from but this time around I clean forgot, but it would have been about 60% cheaper.

I must say tho, having filled out the visa form, I noticed it’s now more complicated than before, although nothing too bad. There were some questions that were a worry, like past employment and shit,  even current employment!

I’ve been out of the official employment loop for so long that half my ass is off the grid. In Moscow nobody hires officially (you can only do this is you have temp residence) and I’m never in England for long enough to get a ‘proper’ job. I think the last time I worked a 9-5 officially was about 3 years ago (and it was a dead-ender anyway).

So what do you put on a visa application for a business visa when you have no employer? You make shit up and the web of ridiculous lies gets bigger. Where the form asked for the address and names to two previous employers, I included a fictitious Russian company that I had a work visa with (which I bought) and the second company was one I invented myself a couple of years back to get a business visa.
Two companies that don’t exist after which I tick the box saying that I haven’t lied with the purpose of obtaining a visa (wait until they see my photo shopped diploma!)

                               I find telling lies is much more agreeable in Disney cartoon form

One box which particularly amused me was one saying: have you ever helped anyone obtain a visa under false pretences which I actually have done and do all the time! (fuck, I even go into on my blog!)

So next I’ll be sending of the form and seeing if anyone checks anything this time, I suppose if they do I’m screwed but if not, it’s back for another dance in Russia – a homeless dance.

Finding a place to live

So if my web of forced bullshit holds strong, I’ll be back in Moscow and looking for a place to live. I recently split up with my girlfriend who I lived with which renders me, essentially, homeless (not for the first time I should say).
I guess I’ll live with a friend for a while and get my search on, although I won’t be using an agent, that’s for sure.
It will, undoubtedly, be stressful moving all my things and moving my ass out and then finding some overpriced shoebox in which I can wallow but we’ll see.

I guess the one saving grace is that now I’m single I am free to leave the country if I need to and it’s not a problem if I do get refused a visa (plus I can womanise again like it’s 1999!)

Oh well, I’ll get planning my next post in between work and whatnot.
Have a good week expats. 

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Herman on October 14, 2013 at 4:34 AM said...

did it work?did you get to russia?

Lt. Columbo on October 14, 2013 at 3:56 PM said...

Hi Herman! this was a post from long-ass time ago, but yes, it worked and i've been working nice and official for the past three years

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