Getting that work permit

While getting the medical checks for my work permit two weeks back I had one of those moments I like Russia for, but before I go into that, I'll mention a little bit about the work permit process.

This, if I get it, will be my first legit work permit, the thought almost brings a tear to my eye as my semi-illegal system-abusing reign comes to end.
So I had my list of things to get and they included:
passport, visa, registration, medical spravka (заключение о состоянии здоровья иностранного гражданина) and copy of apostiled and notorised diploma.
Now being I have no diploma, this is an issue. I gave them a copy of my level three Russian cert with a letter from the faculty confirming that it was me who did it. It's not like I’m working as a brain surgeon so I’m hoping this will fly, although the HR didn't seem too hopeful, they'll just need to bribe more I guess. When the HR guy was talking to my boss, he mentioned that the process normally takes three months and that they get it for 1.5 months, so you now something’s going on.

Something like this...

Speaking to my other foreign friends who have permits, they said they didn't need to provide anything, although by law they should need to. Some didn't need to provide the medical thing and some just had to have the clean aids cert so it's all very puzzling.

As for the diploma, they actually want the thing that says 'comrade X graduated' with all the pretty bells and whistles - grades are irrelevant. Instead of my language cert, which states what spheres I can work in and which is far more relative to this job, they wanted something saying I finished college (college in England isn't like college in the US). I explained that we just get the grades, not a pretty piece of paper and also that Spanish and history were not exactly relevant to my work here, but there I go again with that logic!!

So I went to get my medical business done. Now, not every clinic provides these health certs for foreigners and Russians (Russian require them sometimes too) and I found one that some other American chick went to, but I was short on time - I was told I needed all the docs on friday evening and that everything had to be ready for the next Friday and I had to get all the other stuff too.
So I called the place on two different occasions and asked about whether I could get an urgent service and they told me I could, in one hour none the less! (of course, I should have stopped believing what Russians tell me on the telephone a long time ago)

So I get down there, pay my 1800 roubles and get started: first with fluorography (which does the same job as an Xray). Below is a picture of where they do the flurography, check it out.

                                       at this point I was pretty sure a rape was on the cards

They guy in there was quite friendly and inquisitive about where I work, what education I finished (Russians like that one) and the importance of studying in general, plus a bit of background on his life. The equipment was fresh out of the 70s but I guess it worked just fine.
Before I left he wished me a successful life and said that he hoped everything worked out for me.
I think he may have had a thing for younger-looking boys, but the sentiment was nice all the same. 

Next was the taking of blood - nothing eventful, and then the other doc asked me two questions: 1) do you have any itches? 2) Is everything ok with your skin? And off you go!
That was it.
Back at reception they told me that I could collect the results in five days and I wondered why I ever believe anything anyone says on the phone! But when I explained that it was urgent, which it was, she sent me upstairs to see what could be done.
The girl upstairs said, well, how about I just put yesterdays date on it and print you out your spravka and stamp it? 
Uh, sure thing.
Only in Russia my friends. There I was with my nice medical cert, five days before any results!!

Back at work the HR guy said that it wasn't the right type, shouldn't be on A4 and there should be a hologram (again, my friends never had this). When I called the clinic back thy insisted that the HR guy could call their main doctor, check with the FMS and so on and so on. So right now they're sorting it out between themselves.
Fingers crossed! But I did enjoy my little visit to the clinic

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