While one half of the globe is cheering the downfall of Osama Bin laden, the worlds greatest hide and seek champion, the other half is going conspiracy mad, but meanwhile in Moscow, I am puzzling out some Russian female logic.
I almost even understand the logic, but this time, I’m calling straight up bullshit.
The day began with my friend (and now-fellow-flatmate), locking our crazy Russian girl flatmate in the apartment. Some of you might be thinking this is because she is his red-hot Russian love slave concubine, but you’d be wrong. We have two doors, and one of them can only be locked from the outside and not opened from the inside, hence this problem.
Since she gets up for work at around 11, so you never really know if she is in or not, save for the mess she leaves in the bathroom whenever she gets in there. I was gone early anyway and when my buddy got the call at work (we also work at the same place) he knew why she was calling. He ignored her calls and so did I, because we both know she is an insane drama queen (she wanted to call a tennant meeting, i.e. all of us together becuase some of the lightbulbs went out in the bathroom).
Plus, the landlord’s in-laws live on the floor below and can just be called to open the door (this isn’t the first time it’s happened). There are also a number of other common-sense options that could have been implemented. She kept calling, which meant that on this occasion, even the old pensioner from the floor below must have been out (as we know, the 80+ aren’t known for their jam-packed social and business lives, meaning you can almost always find them at home).
In a text, to her, my friend suggested she grab a screwdriver from my room (a have a small tool kit for all my muzhik tool needs) and simply unscrew the lock – a mighty two-screw beast that a small, retarded child could unscrew. Her response, among some other bullshit about being late for an important ‘meeting’, (i.e. drinking wine with friends) was this:
И еще – не забывай, - отвертками женских сил пользоваться не хватит
Translation: and don’t forget, women aren’t strong enough to use screw drivers
marvel and this impregnable construction
Seriously, I'm not like the feminist’s best friend or anything, but that is one of the most pathetic things I've ever heard, even with the whole ‘a man does this, a women does this mentality’. The thing that’s wrong about the latter equation is that it doesn't say what to do if you don’t have a man (I wonder why she doesn't have one...). Ironically, if you don’t have a man to take care of these things, you need to man the fuck up and get with reality.
How can you argue with a grown 28-year-old women who refuses to attempt to unscrew 2 screws (that’s right, count them) based on gender? Another gem she dropped one time when I couldn't remember where the light bulbs were:
Me: Hey, do you remember where the light bulbs are? I remember seeing them around the flat somewhere…
Her: well, that’s man stuff and I don’t think women need to know about things like that.
She’s not typical of a Russian girl, even the more traditional ones.
If any of you Russian women reading met with this situation, what would you do?
The moral of the story, don’t live with a crazy person, of any race or nationality. There's only one thing more petty than stuff like this, and that's writing a whole blog post about it.
ahhhh yeeeaahhhh!!!
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