Buying a puppy in Moscow




After a long time of wanting a puppy/ dog of some kind, finally the circumstances were right to make my pooch dreams come true.

You see, when living with other flat mates, you don’t just have to deal with them making a shitty mess in the kitchen – but also with their love (or lack of) animals.
Shit, even if your flat mates just happen to love animals, your landlord probably doesn’t. Oh no, the landlord wants his rent machines to live without the bundle of poop, joy and wonder that is a dog.

                                                        How about I just increase your rent instead?

Since I moved in with my girlfriend about 4 months back, we decided it was time to plunge into the world of cuteness that is buying a puppy. As for breed, I was hell bent on a pug – I don’t know why. She was less keen and was more thinking Chihuahua, so that’s what we decided to go for – they’re pretty cute too (another option was a puggle – a pug beagle cross, but they seem to be tough to find in Moscow).

While I hear that getting a dog in places like America can be a hassle, it’s a piece of cake in Moscow. You find a breeder and breed you want (just google питомник and the breed name in Russian) and look at endless puppies until you find the one you like. You call them up, sort out a visit and get your cash ready for a deposit.

As it turns out, a lot of breeders just run their business from home. When we got there (right at the end of the purple line)  we were greeted by a whole room full of Chihuahua puppies – it was maybe the cutest thing I have ever seen.


The breeder lady seemed nice enough, but as eccentric as balls. Every now and then, she’d pick one of the puppies up and let him lick her lips, a bit like the old spinster character from there’s something about Mary. She’s be chatting away and periodically let one of the pups have a suck on her face.

For me, that was a bit weird, I mean sure they’re cute – but lip sucking??
After this meeting, we paid a deposit and a couple of weeks later picked him up. He’s awesome and frankly, I look forward to basking in his adorableness every day.

Although a lot of people, especially real muzhiks with mummy issues, think that a small dog is a pussy dog – that anything less that a crotch-ripping pit-bull is not manly enough, well I say fuck that. If you need a big dog to feel like a big man – you’re probably a pussy anyway. A dog is a dog, no an extension of your cock and balls for all to see.

Another thing to keep in mind is that most of Moscow is made up of flat-dwellers, making a small dog the perfect option. I mean, sure, big dogs can be fun too, but they also piss and poop like big dogs.
Seeing as how they’ll inevitable be left at home alone for some part of the day, they won’t always be able to go outside to the toilet.

Ok, you can get them toilet pads (known as пеленки in Russian ) and train them, but because of their size, it would be like having a grown, adult male pissing all over your flat.

                                                                    Shall I super size that piss for you ?

If you feel the need for cuteness and are in the market for a dog,  why don’t you consider a mini-size, ultra cute dog – the Real real muzhik dog.


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